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By: Brianna Glencross

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Friday, 11-Apr-2014 02:21 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Books: The 5 books you shouldn't acknowledge to reading

There are certain books that anybody desires to brag about having read. Think Dickens, think Austen, think Orwell and think Tolkien. These are the books that you must push plainly in the front of your bookshelves, talk about fully in discussion and bring about ostentatiously stuck beneath your arm.

But, on the other side of the dimensions, would be the
you know you shouldn’t read. These books are, quite frankly, so painfully awful that they should never have made it past any rational publisher’s desk. However they did and, in the process, are becoming incredibly popular with hillbillies, pre-teens and unhappy homebodies.

Should you read it? Definitely not. Can we stop you? We'd like we could but, of course, the tempting pull of the unknown is very powerful for us to prevent. To be able to stop fascination from killing the cat, just be sure you never ever declare to reading these literary travesties in courteous company…

#1 - The Twilight Saga

Remember when vampires made to bite people and turn into dust if the sun emerged? Stephenie Meyer has made away with all the thrill and replaced it with brooding stares, inappropriate werewolf-vampire-human love triangles and an endless amount of longing.

#2 - Fifty Shades Of Grey Trilogy

Don’t even try and pretend you’re not enticed from the “mummy porn” craze that’s sweeping the nation. Don’t even try. But, if you read it, don’t lay smugly on the train with your erotica held up for anyone to see. Keep it for where it should be - hidden guiltily at the end to your sock drawer

#3 - The Da Vinci Code

The Da Vinci Code is evidently based upon historical fact, even though the truth of the matter is it is 99% filler, 1% lite background. Read it, by all means, however don’t try quoting it in debates about the artist’s excellent art work in the near future.

#4 - The Other Boleyn Girl

The true story of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn is really damn scandalous; he changed the religion of an entire country in order to marry the woman of his dreams. Then he cut off her head because she wouldn’t get a boy baby, the pointless trollop. The Other Boleyn Girl carries the scandal, amps it up by at least 1000 revs and sensationalises the facts with tittle-tattle and gossip of the time. It’s basically a prolonged Daily mail article, set in the Tudor era. Shudder.

#5 - Anything by Katie Price

Are you kidding? Are you actually joking? Don’t do this. Just… just don’t do this. You’re so much better than this.


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